


Humans, my Raison D'etre

by NightmareWolf



Series: EW Future AU [1]
Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cannibalism, Gen, Headcanon, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 00:40:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16566281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightmareWolf/pseuds/NightmareWolf
Summary: Tom and Edd are completely different, and this couldn't be more true in the future.





	Humans, my Raison D'etre

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh vent-y sorta lowkey?? also highkey based off packet hero by maretu ur welcome GO LISTEN TO IT
> 
> ALSO VERY HEAVY ON THE HEADCANONS, ESPECIALLY ON HOW THE FUTURE IS IN THEIR WORLD

Tom and Edd were different.

Of course, it was exceedingly clear they were even at first glance. Next to nothing about them was similar. In fact, it's a wonder they even became friends. Perhaps opposites really do attract? Or was it fate? (Fate, probably). Even with all their differences, however, they were tightly knit friends. Some would say the biggest difference between them was their looks, or how Tom's more out there and Edd's more down to earth, or how Tom's more emotional and Edd's more rational. But, Tom would say it's none of these things.

Tom would say their biggest difference is that Edd doesn't give up.

Even in the most hopeless situations, Edd finds a spark of optimism. For as logical as a person as he is, he's always believed in others. He believed, deep down, everyone was a good person. Tom would always tell him he's sickeningly naive, or that he puts too much faith in others. Yet, no matter what, Edd never changed his mind like a stubborn child. Tom didn't believe that bullshit. He saw humans as things only driven by self-preservation and self-gain; cynical and desperate—it's what he was.

Edd never saw it like that.

Edd was a fighter. He'd never give up, he'd never take the easy way out if it went against how he felt. Tom wasn't the same. He had given up long ago. He had no will to fight for anyone or anything.

It holds true.

* * *

 

 

As Tom is awoken from a less-than-peaceful slumber by his alarm clock, he feels as if he hasn't even awoke yet. He wouldn't truly feel awake until he slipped on his visor and regained vision, although one with imbalanced colors. At least he could see. It could be worse.

At least he wasn't living out in hiding, with no food or water, being hunted.

He attends the morning roll call and eats breakfast. He can't recall that last time he's seen Matt. The two don't talk much anymore. Tom's found that, without Edd, him and Matt don't get along very well. He doesn't care, though.

Red Leader doesn't bother keeping a close eye on him. After all, he's made his way up to deputy status. Furthermore, Red Leader knows how to put him in his place, as much as Tom hates to admit it. Without him, Tom would be blind. He'd have no visor—no one to recharge or fix it. As long as he stayed loyal, as long as he follow orders, he could live well-fed and unharmed. He could see.

Humans only live for self-preservation.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

It kills Tom a little on the inside when he gains a new task.

Red Leader calls Tom to a conference meeting. Him and Matt exclusively. It has Tom wonder what it could be about if it just involves them, although the dread deep in his chest tells him he already knows.

Red Leader doesn't look happy—his mouth is twisted in a snarl, a lit cigar stuck between his sharp teeth. The leader slams down a small document along with a wanted poster. The poster in question showed somebody Tom felt like he knew. He seemed all too familiar, yet he couldn't tell exactly who it was.

Tom reached for the small document. It contained various sightings and offenses the supposed person on the poster has done. Furthermore, it explains what their goal is and why they have to do it, yet Red Leader is going to yap at them about it even when it's right on paper. Tom doesn't listen to Red Leader as he reads. He learns this person is highly wanted by the Red Army—he's the leader of a resistance group. He apparently roams around, scouting new members and plans to diminish the army. He has an estimated thirty kills on Red Army members, but the amount of resistance members he's recruited is unknown. He's thirty-two, really fucking tall, and really intimidating. It says that, thanks to Tord holding a dictatorship over the world practically, he cannot buy or show his face publicly without being caught. Thus, he is technically homeless, and holds no legitimate way to get food, water, warmth, and healthcare. A single gunshot could kill him, due to no treatment being available for him. Current location is unknown. He's very crafty and tricky—was last spotted in Durdum Lane, but has most likely fled.

_He sounds like a tough enemy_.

Tom gets a familiar feeling in his chest as he reads the document that unsettles him, and he flips back to the front. Red Leader is still talking.

Tom takes another look on the paper, searching for the name of the man. When he sees it, Tom's digital eyes turn a shade of white. He can't help but clench his teeth as guilt and unpleasant memories flood back to him.

_Name: Edward D. Gold_

"And you two's job is to kill him."

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Maybe it's been a week, or a month, who cares.

Tom and Matt had honestly searched everywhere, but Edd—er, _Edward_ —doesn't seem like he's going to give in that easily. Tom's impressed, for as lax and block-headed(d) Edd used to be, he seems to be rather...conniving and tricky now. Maybe he was always like that, and Tom's just finally seeing that side.

Then again, the last time they spoke was five years ago. Tom couldn't even recognize him on that paper. He looks so different now—He doesn't look innocent and happy-go-lucky. He no longer looks like a snarky, playful prick. He looks cold and devoid of remorse, he looks much older and more cynical. Tom wouldn't blame him, his situation would be shit. Who could live like that? Alone, running for your life? Devoid of any real way to obtain food or clean water without extreme care or crime? No access to hygiene, shelter, or healthcare? For _five years?_ Nobody in their right _mind_ would do this. Any person would give up at that point.

Maybe Edd hadn't changed much at all.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tom caught him after two months.

He saw that unmistakable dirtied green hoodie, the long trench coat, those damn eyes of his.

"Hold it right there!" He had yelled out of instinct. At this point, this was routine—instinct, almost. Red Leader had taught him well.

And those eyes. Oh, those _fucking_ eyes. They stared right back at his visor. The only light in the dark alleyway was of Tom's glowing visor, producing a much too familiar shade of green. For a few seconds, they stared at each other like deers caught in headlights. It felt like an eternity. Standing there, point his gun right at Edd. It seemed unreal. All he could hear was his heartbeat.

He's seen that look in his eyes before,

the same eyes when him and Matt left to join Red Leader,

the same eyes that looked so distraught and betrayed,

the same eyes that burned with anger and determination.

Tom must have had his guard down, all wrapped up in his thoughts, because Edd had gotten away.

 

 

* * *

 

Red Leader wanted to add tighter security on grocery stores and such, he wanted to make it harder for anybody of the resistance to get food. He figured if Edd was escaping like water between his fingers, then dehydrating and starving him would kill him quicker.

They must have severely underestimated his will to fight, though, when reports of dead, cannibalized Red Army soldiers came in.

 

* * *

 

  
  
He's just criminally insane, that must be it.

No person in their right mind would work _this hard_ against an entire army. Edd's situation was hopeless. His pathetic fucking group wouldn't beat the Red Army, not by a long shot. Nobody would put themselves through such strenuous torture, or cannibalize a fucking person. Edd wasn't brave, or heroic, or fighting for a good cause—whatever that'd even _be_ —he's was just crazy.

As trivial as it was, Tom was legitimately angry. What kind of person would work this hard for such a pointless goal? A goal that would _never_ succeed? When does determination and optimism turn into Psychosis? What drove Edd _so much_ to do all of this? What could he possibly have to fight for? He has literally nothing to lose, why put yourself through such suffering for nothing?

Tom stormed around his room fuming the more he thought on it. He eventually turned to the mirror, wanting to take a deep breath and calm down.

In the mirror he saw his visor was a shade of deep, forest green.

The color of envy.

* * *

 

 

Sometimes, he forgets that his visor doesn't let him see everything as clearly as he once did. For example: he can't see the color red against green. A special kind of _red/green colorblind_ , if you will. It explains why he caught Edd as easily as he did.

At first, he didn't understand. Edd didn't seem to be putting much effort into running away, and Tom was easily able to catch him. As he forced the other to the ground to cuff him, he saw something red leaking onto the grey pavement.

Blood.

He forcefully turned Edd on his back, ignoring his forceful struggling. He didn't see anything on his hoodie. His digital eyes narrowed, and he lifted Edd's hoodie up to see quite a nasty gash on his side. It was bleeding pretty badly—someone must have got him with a knife of some sort. With more Red Army soldiers on the team to kill Edd, it's not a surprise.

"Fuck—" Edd gasped, his voice was a lot deeper and hoarse than Tom could remember. Actually, this was the first time Tom has heard Edd's voice in five years. "Fuck, let—let go, pervert! Don't go putting your fuckin' hands under my hoodie!"

Tom didn't verbally replied, merely from shock of hearing Edd's voice again. It's been so long. His voice had changed, definitely, but it was still Edd. He still heard him in that voice. It made him want to cry.

Tom swallowed down the lump in his throat, knowing what he had to do now. He had to suppress these emotions.

Using his one hand to keep Edd down, Tom pulled out his gun. Edd, obviously getting the implication of what was about to happen, started struggling more. But, the handcuffs made it harder along with immense damage he's already sustained. Edd may be strong, but everything over these years have been weakening him. Now, with such a detrimental injury, it seemed like he wouldn't escape Tom.

That's when the struggling stopped.

Tom, still keeping the gun aimed, looked down at Edd. He looked focused, and had his eyes shut tightly.

"Have you finally learned to give up?" Tom spoke. His tone wasn't condescending or triumphant. It was lifeless.

Edd didn't reply.

Tom kept the gun uncomfortably close to Edd's neck, ready to pull the trigger at a moment's notice.

"I'm not giving up."

Tom blinked as Edd quietly spoke out the words. "You're not struggling. Looks like you've given up to me."

"I haven't given up. If anything, this—this is the most valiant I've stood."

Tom, once again, was dumbfounded. What did he mean? Edd took in shaky breaths. Despite the harsh pounding of his chest, Tom saw he seemed rather...calm. As if, he felt that he'd be okay.

"I never stopped trusting you, Tom."

Tom sucked in a sharp inhale. Was this a joke? Was Edd, even now, putting his faith in him to _not_ shoot him? _That's_ what he's riding on? It's a trick, it has to be. If he was being genuine, Tom didn't find it flattering. He found it personally insulting. As a trick, it was even more awful.

Edd knows how to hit him emotionally; where it hurts.

"I know you're tricking me," Tom's voice shook. "I—I'm not falling for it. I'm going to kill you."

There's a million things Tom wanted to say in that moment, and it looked like Edd felt the same way. After a few seconds, Edd spoke.

"Well, if you're so set on that, I want to tell you something."

Tom nodded, giving him permission to continue.

"I know why you joined the Red Army. I really do—and I'm not surprised. I have been and still am hurt by you and Matt choosing to side with Tord out of fear. Thomas, I honestly hate you for it. I think you're a coward. You're not a friend. You only care about yourself, and for that I hope I never have to see you again for as long as I live. Despite all that, though, I still have undeniable faith in you.

Nobody is truly a bad person, not even you."

Tom's hands were shaking.

Why?

Why did Edd have to be so _stupidly, sickeningly naive?_ Why did he trust humans so much? Did he think life was a fairy tale? That love and trust would conquer all? Was he _mental_ _?_

"If you're going to shoot me, do it now. My side is killing me."

Tom looked at his gun.

 

* * *

 

 

Tom would say their biggest difference is that Edd doesn't give up.

Even in the most hopeless situations, Edd finds a spark of optimism. For as logical as a person as he is, he's always believed in others. He believed, deep down, everyone was a good person. Tom would always tell him he's sickeningly naive, or that he puts too much faith in others. Yet, no matter what, Edd never changed his mind like a stubborn child. Tom didn't believe that bullshit. He saw humans as things only driven by self-preservation and self-gain; cynical and desperate—it's what he was.

Then he doesn't understand why.

If he truly is like that, why did he unhand Edd? Why did he give him his first-aid? Why did he leave him and lie to Red Leader? He had nothing to gain from doing that. No self-profit. Nothing to gain and everything to lose if Red Leader found out.

So, why?

Tom didn't know himself. He thought all this time, everything he did was based on self-preservation and self-gain; being cynical and desperate—it's what he was.

It's what he _was._

Perhaps that's the keyword here.

 _Was_.

 


End file.
